Archive for the ‘ thoughts ’ Category

fly away .

throughout the past one and a half years i have worked in phone retailers, i have always encountered a large amount of international students, backpackers or just people from overseas in general. it never affected me before, but i’ve recently been noticing just how young these people are. i mean, yesterday i saw a passport upon which the year of birth was 1992. and i thought… fuck, this kid is two years younger than i am, and he’s in a different country, away from his family and everyone he knows. by himself. living there?!

it’s become increasingly obvious that there are so many people like this. so many people willing to step out of their comfort zone to do something new.

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happenstance .

humanity, i think, has this really stupid obsession with chance. it’s not just about gambling. it seems that there is something inexplicably fantastic about deciding something through rolling a die or flipping a coin.

it’s as if it makes the situation more fair because you’re not the one that chose. because chance, or maybe even fate, made the choice for you. and you don’t need to feel guilty about pocketing the hundred dollar note you found on the street, because heads says you could and tails would have been to run up to the guy and tell him it fell out of his pocket.

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bargains .

we all do it, whether we believe in it or not. whether we think it will work or we think it’s our only shot. our last hope. we stop praying. we start bargaining with god.

at one point it stops being “dear god, please hear my prayers” and transforms into something more like “if you do this for me, i swear i will do anything for you.”

example: “dear god, could you please get the love of my life to love me too?” will over time transform into “please god, i’m not asking for him to love me, but could you at least let him notice i exist? i swear i’ll change the world for you.”

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the short straw .

kind of read through my old blog posts, because someone else did, and i’m a bit concerned with my loss of interest in real life. my interest in myself has grown considerably, while i hardly blog about other things anymore. i think that’s tragic because when one writes about something they believe in that relates to the outside world, there is a tiny chance that it could change something. as opposed to blogging about your crap life which doesn’t change anything at all.

because the medium in which you express things determines the effect on those who read it.

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kaching .

upon my commitment to return to university, i have found that i now truly know and understand the idea of being a poor student. i always thought that it only happened in movies; girls that strip to pay their college fees and boys that find out their girlfriends are strippers from going somewhere they shouldn’t be. fight ensues, as you can imagine, and etcetera, etcetera.

yet today, as i thought about my uni fees and the textbooks i must purchase, it all dawned on me: without parents, one is rather reluctant to purchase textbooks or pay for univeristy.

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introspection .

2010 is rolling in fast, and i figured if we really only have two years left to live then we might as well just go for everything we’ve always wanted to do. but then most of the time goals aren’t set to be achieved but to be worked towards, and sometimes not even so much.

been d&m-ing a lot lately, mostly as a result of the aftermath of parties and too much alcohol, but during these d&ms i’ve realised that we only discuss superficial crap and not the stuff that really actually matters. i mean sure, i talk a lot about myself (bad habit), but what do i really reveal or discover?

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sway .

i have eight mosquito bites on my legs and a further four down my arms and i don’t know why i keep forgetting that sitting outside late at night is a bad idea. i’m terrible with not scratching mosquito bites, so i expect that i’ll have a number of painful scabs very soon.

in addition to my lack of common sense about the whole mosquito situation, i have found that i am a very talkative drunk and struggle not to divulge information about my entire existence while i’m in a tipsy but able to talk situation. i hope i don’t embarrass myself too much in the parties to come; one in particular.

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wrinkles .

i know my regular readers are going to accuse me of neglect, but in my defense i have been extremely lazy busy recently. as of right now i am in fact at work, sitting evasively at the back computer munching on a kilo of jelly snakes while i should be cleaning the benchtop or something.

i have slowly but surely developed an affinity with grilled fish, which i now eat for lunch almost every day, and my daily habits have swelled to push out internet surfing in my free time. when i checked my email, i had a record of 36 unread messages and only about half of them were junk or subscriptions.

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