humanity, i think, has this really stupid obsession with chance. it’s not just about gambling. it seems that there is something inexplicably fantastic about deciding something through rolling a die or flipping a coin.
it’s as if it makes the situation more fair because you’re not the one that chose. because chance, or maybe even fate, made the choice for you. and you don’t need to feel guilty about pocketing the hundred dollar note you found on the street, because heads says you could and tails would have been to run up to the guy and tell him it fell out of his pocket.
but then chance decides various things in your life and you whine about how life isn’t fair. puzzling, isn’t it?
sometimes we even rely on it, waiting for fate to bring our most feverent desires to our doorstep rather than trying to reach them ourselves. and maybe some of the time they’re difficult or even unreachable through common means, like collecting fallen stars or defeating lord voldemort or even meeting the love of your life. they don’t happen to us every day, and we might wish for them over and over again in hope that it would happen. but if it mattered so much, there’s always something you can do. i mean, you could always track astrological movements or join the order of the phoenix. and also, try speed dating or late night television advertisements.
i’m a firm believer of chance and fate creating what is meant to be… when it suits me, anyway. like when it rains on the day i’m meant to do my laundry, or when my clock stopped on the day i really wanted to sleep in, which results in my missing the economics lecture i detest. those things were just not meant to be. but how do i know if i’m just making excuses for myself, or if god is actually fucking with my resolutions?
it’s just so hard to fight. when there seems to be a greater force acting upon your resolve; how can you remain astute? how can you keep thinking, “this is the way it should be” when the powers that be are showing you that it’s not?
i don’t want to fight losing battles, so i guess i’ll just go with the not so clear writing on the wall.