fearless .

the problem with hope is that it’s ongoing and never stops until everything has been crushed and pulverised to the point where it’s beyond a possibility. beyond reach. beyond comprehension.

she balances delicately on the thin metal grid that protrudes from the tallest building on the skyline, looking down at her audience. they’re not really watching her. she just likes to think of them that way.

the trees beckon, invite, entreat, enchant her to fall, but she knows it’s not something her audience wants to see. and what must an actor do, but please their audience?

she smiles at the thought and shifts her balance, causing the metal beneath her feet to sway softly. a jolt of panic rushes through her body, but she demands calm. putting one foot in front of the other, she takes a slow step towards the edge, beyond which there is nothing but empty air and empty dreams.

from here, her audience look like ants, caught in the hustle and bustle of the rat race, not pausing for a moment to realise that one day they could all be here. because their hope is still intact. 

bemused, she takes the piece of hope from her eyes and tries to polish the fingerprints away. the tiny glass spectacles shine a little in the light, and through them she can see the endless possibilities of life and the joy that is plausible. but it slips out of her hand and disappears a million miles below, down to where the crash doesn’t even make a sound. and somehow, suddenly, the world turns into a shade of grey. and the five girls next to her take the plunge into an inevitability that came too soon.

across the metal grid, she sees that one of the girls had left their hope behind. so she dances over and picks it up and wonders why no one ever tried to find it again. sliding it over her eyes, she notices colour in the world once again, and she smiles and she breathes and she jumps.

the wind blows frantically and the rush of adrenaline almost hurts. but she’s happy as she thinks of her last written words;

“you think i’m fearless. i think you’re just scared of the things i’m not.”

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    • kevin
    • April 23rd, 2010

    well there is always hope from a religious point of view

  1. If you’re not scared your doing it wrong. Satre called it “bad faith”.

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