just returned from our monthly work meeting, feeling exhausted. still need to do some uni work, but blackboard, the online website we use for resources, is being powered by a quadraplegic on a bicycle.
oh that wasn’t very nice at all.
i want to drop economics already because i don’t understand it and it seems that i don’t really care that i don’t understand it, which is always a bad thing. that , coupled with the fact that i’ve only been to half a lecture and slept for most of it, amounts to me being completely clueless. i did find out that my lecturer’s name is nigel though, which is so fitting it makes me chuckle to myself. isn’t it amazing when things just make so much sense?
very many mixed feelings about the strike tomorrow; first of all i’m so relieved to have a day where i can just relax because i’m over worked and brinking on collapse. on the other hand, i’m scared that by missing ALL of my tutorials and one of my lectures i’m going to suddenly find myself trailing way behind, kind of like that quadraplegic on a bicyle, but in a race. now there’s a fucked up picture. because, to be completely honest, i’m not really getting anywhere at all with at least two of my subjects, and i’m just way too lethargic to care.
had a brief discussion with christine today about dropping out of uni to work full time because the juggling is draining both of us. but i figure that if i dropped out of uni now, i’m going to look at myself in two years time and i won’t know where the fuck i’m going or how i’m going to get anywhere, and then i’m going to try to get a degree and then feel like shit all over again. and i don’t want to fail in life so i figure i’ll stick it out and at least try to get where i want to be.
which brings me to something that haily said to me the other day that i smiled at, due to both its simplicity and stupidity. he said that in the end everything will work out; if it hasn’t worked out, it isn’t the end.
so that’s the way i shall think of things from now on. except for the stupid things like remainders in long division.