shoulders & devils .
i am way too well acquainted with the idea of doing something that i’ll regret later on that it’s become quite passe for me. it probably has to do with being manly and taking everything as it comes. or maybe just not being fucked to make plans.
in life, i’m a planner. i plan easy things like what time to get up and which train to catch to work. i also plan hard things like writing down the speech to give a customer i’ve given the wrong information that could cost them a lot of money. i like knowing what’s coming. even more, i like controlling what is to come.
so why do i buy dozens of krispy kremes with the knowledge that i will eat them all and feel guilty later (and then forget about it)? why do i leave things until they can’t be left any longer and fuck up? why do i fight myself and let the wrong part win?
and why do i let my pride get in the way of so much?
i wish we were back in the caveman age where all we had to do was follow our instincts. the men probably sexed all the women they could find while the women tried to sift posion from edible foods by feeding them first to her babies.
but then i realise that i can’t live without a flushable toilet and shoes.