the olfactory .
i take back what i said when i professed my inability to believe in things. i have immersed myself in a new faith. i believe that one day, the majority of the world will follow my faith, and we will bring the world into the future, and a future where everyone will be purified of all their sins.
i believe that all people with body odour should be restricted from public transport. or at least put in the same compartment, away from the other people.
i haven’t decided what to call my religion yet; i mean, sure it’s not like christianity or buddhism since i can’t really name it after myself, and it’s not really a branch of anything so i can’t jehovas witness style it either.
this thought sprang to me while i was riding the train home, as most poor students would. i sat right behind someone that smelled extremely horrible, and breathed through my scarf the whole time. in addition to this person’s naturally bad body odour, there was the essence of ash, making them smell like someone had stubbed their cigarettes all over their body.
the smell has always been my problem with smokers, actually. i really don’t care if they don’t care about cancer or whatever it is they depict on those horrendous cigarette packets these days; i just find it unbelievable that you’d want to smell crap everywhere you go. i mean, maybe they’re not conscious of it because they’re like that all the time, but every time a heavy smoker walks past me i choke, and making the general public suffer for your own muse is absolutely pointless.
so i’m going to establish a faith and lodge bills to parliament for making smelly people group together. i strongly believe that it will help us create a better and brighter world, and i am begging you to follow.
and when the legislation comes through, we should all combine to open a deoderant factory.