the olfactory .

i take back what i said when i professed my inability to believe in things. i have immersed myself in a new faith. i believe that one day, the majority of the world will follow my faith, and we will bring the world into the future, and a future where everyone will be purified of all their sins.

i believe that all people with body odour should be restricted from public transport. or at least put in the same compartment, away from the other people.

i haven’t decided what to call my religion yet; i mean, sure it’s not like christianity or buddhism since i can’t really name it after myself, and it’s not really a branch of anything so i can’t jehovas witness style it either.

this thought sprang to me while i was riding the train home, as most poor students would. i sat right behind someone that smelled extremely horrible, and breathed through my scarf the whole time. in addition to this person’s naturally bad body odour, there was the essence of ash, making them smell like someone had stubbed their cigarettes all over their body.

the smell has always been my problem with smokers, actually. i really don’t care if they don’t care about cancer or whatever it is they depict on those horrendous cigarette packets these days; i just find it unbelievable that you’d want to smell crap everywhere you go. i mean, maybe they’re not conscious of it because they’re like that all the time, but every time a heavy smoker walks past me i choke, and making the general public suffer for your own muse is absolutely pointless.

so i’m going to establish a faith and lodge bills to parliament for making smelly people group together. i strongly believe that it will help us create a better and brighter world, and i am begging you to follow.

and when the legislation comes through, we should all combine to open a deoderant factory.

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  1. This made me burst with laughter. Reminds me of when I nerd it up at Comic Con or something similar, and realizing that most actual nerds have a horrible sense of hygiene. It isn’t fun when you’re assaulted with overwhelmingly offending smells.

  2. agnostic?

    i agree with you for the most part
    but yeah. nothing much to say here.

    just iamgined a black guy from uni
    who is fat and wears the same black shirt and smokes
    he looks ridiculous
    probably smells like bad too

    • jwang
    • May 30th, 2009

    at least cigarette smoke is better than actual body odour =[
    because that doesnt just make you cough it makes you gag and vomit in your mouth

    • jwang
    • May 30th, 2009

    hello again
    random thought of the day….
    some of your musings remind me of articles that end up in frankie
    i think they would like your stuff
    they accept freelance submissions =]
    just thought you would like to know, i know i would

    but im just a dreamer

  3. Liziism!!

    New philosophy!! I support it fully!!

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