i’ve just reached a big milestone in my life; i’ve completed the first test that counts towards a university mark. i practically failed it, and it was worth all of one percent. but still. hooray for me.
university has had quite a large impact on me, i think. apart from my time management problems and all the work that comes with it, it has also affected my personal life. i am no longer able to wake up, brush my teeth, pull some clothes on and rush out of the house like i have for the past eighteen years of my life; these days i must wake up at least an hour before class so i can brush my teeth, eat breakfast, choose what to wear and if i can be bothered, i will do something to my hair.
my life has never been like this before. i’m afraid that i am evolving into a shallow person.
i never understood all my friends and their make up obsessions during high school. there was never anyone to impress, and cake faces on school photo day just seemed so ridiculous at the time. but i’m beginning to get it. i’m taking one step at a time into the plastic faces of womanhood.
not that i’m that bad… just yet.
luckily for me, one of the walls in my four walled room is dominated by a mirrored wardrobe. i am therefore able to look at myself wherever i am in my room, and judge what part of my appearance is wrong, unattractive, or otherwise unsuitable.
i’m not sure whether it’s because i see a million different strangers in the same day, or whether i want to portray a particular image, or whether i want to seem more grown up. maybe it’s a combination of all of them, and maybe it’s none.
but that doesn’t matter.
what matters is whether the change is for the better, or the worse. i’m still trying to figure that one out.