something (and i forget what) has caused me to wonder whether we prolong our lifespans due to the fear of death rather than to keep living.
honestly speaking, i cannot see the benefits life offers someone when they are past the age of 60. in fact, i cannot see the benefits life offers someone once they pass the age of 40. not enough to want to keep living, anyway. when you’re 40 you have responsibilities.
you never see a film or read a story about happily married 40 year olds. they always long for their teenage years when they still had fun.
move along a couple more years until we reach 60. what makes you happy now? watching your children and your grandchildren succeed? putting pressure on them to do so because you’re old and frail? sure, your family loves you, but how often is there a closeness, and how often are you happy? not bored, not proud. just happy?
i’ve been focusing on the issue of happiness a lot lately, it seems. i think it’s because i can’t see it anymore; not just within me, but around me. all around me i see determination, perseverance, anxiety, ambition. maybe even achievement. but achievement only brings a brief illusion of happiness.
how long do you want to live for when you can only achieve such an illusion once in a while?
maybe we only want to live because we’re too afraid of the alternative.