inscrutable .

APPARENTLY i’m a complex person. i’m not sure what kind of complex, just complex. according to them.

“them” is the people that kind of know me, i guess. maybe a couple know me pretty well. a few probably hardly know me at all. thems all think i’m complex.

i’ve come across it before, but i’ve never thought much of it. but today, when someone said it to me, i started wondering why. what reason would they have to think that i’m not a simple and shallow person? what signs have i exhibited that have hinted complexities? and how would they know?

do they take one look at me and decide that i’m fucked up on the inside? do i just seem like the type of person that has complexities and issues? or do they secretly know that i have complexities and issues, and i just don’t know that they know?

and how do i compare to those crazy women with anxiety complexes and relationship complexities and complex existences altogether? the ones that complain about how difficult their love lives are and how busy their work life is? or am i to be compared to the tortured artists who are unable to express their inner ideas very specifically, and leave it to their art which tells us, little by little, that they are dying on the inside?

or maybe i have the wrong definition of their “complex”?

    • jamesesz
    • February 24th, 2009

    Complex is a misnomer. Like any other word, it attempts to describe something abstract. Read Chomsky’s work on the limitation of words. Take it positively! People say I am a complex idiot (what the hell does that mean!)..In my humble opinion, if people cannot understand u, it is either they r not trying hard enough or ur intellectual capacity is above them! hahaha!

    ~ESZ, James

    • jamesesz
    • February 25th, 2009

    Hi Lizi,

    I am not an American..but a Malaysian Chinese (hope u have nothing against them)..haha.. It seems James Buchanan got last place..The Canadians voted George W. BUsh as is ur favorite?

    ~ESZ, James

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