quicksand .

i think explosm is down. either that or i can’t access it through my proxy server as well as the normal one. i’m devastated. i love explosm. i wish i had been given warning that it would happen. hold that thought though.

i’ve been watching a lot of one tree hill lately since i’ve been sick, and right now it’s all about people dying and moving on. they all want warning. in real life, we’d probably want warning too, if our loved ones were about to die. fair warning, that’s all.

i’m trying to think of all the things i’d do differently if i knew someone was going to die tomorrow. obviously it varies with who the person is, but there has to be something. because if you’d want to do it for the reason that they’re not going to be there anymore, it still means you want to do it, and there has to be a reason for that. i’m sure everyone has it.

okay so maybe if you’re going to plead undying love to your best friend’s girl/boyfriend you should probably wait until you don’t have another chance, but anything else… why does it make a difference whether it’s then or now?

so i’m going to start a game. it may be a little morbid, but think of it as a challenge. write something for every person that you would change an action for, if they were to die soon. maybe not tomorrow, and maybe not next week. but soon. soon enough to let you know that you’re running out of time. it can be anything, from a song to a haiku to a number plate for their car. whatever.

it can be cryptic. they never have to see it. they never have to know. i never have to know. but you will know.

i’ll post up my answers when i’m ready.

    • Garmon
    • February 3rd, 2009

    you know I think about dying everyday.
    it’s quite depressing really but that’s what happens when you play endless hours of videogames.
    just today on the train
    a man named andrew came to the upstairs part of the train carriage. in his left arm he held his neatly folded suit jacket and his right hand moved into his pocket. he glanced at me for a second.
    he then proceeded to sit down with his back to me as he casually struck up a conversation with the random indian sitting in front of him. it started off with an awkward nod before andrew began to talk to the indian guy who was, as a normal person should be, quite uncomfortable having a chat with this andrew person. details aside, for about 10 minutes i thought he was going to turn around and just put a bullet in my head. do you know why? it’s because there people out there who do things for the hell of it.
    this guy looked normal. but he seemed fed up with life. starting a random conversation means you’re just bored. brave too. sometimes people get a bit too brave and they combine that with racism and hatred. maybe some asian guy ripped him off and maybe he wanted to get revenge.

    i’ve thought about my life just randomly ending just like that. so many times i’ve just thought like that. and so many times i cant think of anything id like to say to anyone. i dont have a passionate love for anyone nor do i have words of wisdom for anybody. i just wished maybe i could’ve met my maker a week before and just…i dunno…change their narrow-minded perspectives.
    wow this is way too deep.

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