soundtrack: crickets chirping // thoughts: about tags
so, what is there to say about my UAI…
happy? in a way. the number is more or less as predicted. not hoped for, but predicted.
i’m not on speaking terms with my dad at the moment. funnily enough, it’s not because he thought my UAI wasn’t good enough. he was fine with it, actually. not because it was good, more because it wasn’t bad.
i’m not talking to him because he told my mum what i got, and everything i told him, and i don’t want that bitch to know anything. but he doesn’t understand.
to him, a mark your child receives is meant to be broadcasted. he doesn’t realise that i don’t want anyone to know, even though i’m borderline content. he doesn’t understand why i’m angry that he told my mum. he told me it’s normal for a parent to want to know these things about their child.
i didn’t tell him what i know: that she’s going to go around to all my family friends and tell them with that sarcastic and bitchy tone in her voice, how much of a failure her daughter is. and so he continues to not understand.
could this be due to his background and culture? honestly, is this the way of the chinese people? do they really treasure the bonds of a family, even if one person is fucked up and retarded and causes problems and emotional trauma?
okay, slight exaggeration. but you probably don’t realise how slight.
and i am angry. i don’t know if it’s because he doesn’t understand, or just because she knows. probably mostly the latter. but it doesn’t matter. not happy. not happy at all.