one day .
soundtrack: rihanna; cry // thoughts: about one day
i turned 18 and graduated today. it’s also the first time i’ve blogged three days in a row. how momentous.
i spent my birthday graduating, avoiding photographs, walking around wbj with lucy and cleaning my room. don’t feel sorry for me; i wanted to do every single one of these things more than anything else i could have been doing, except maybe going to star city and getting my $20 of free pokies money. my now clean room (although i haven’t vacuumed yet) is extremely comforting, and i feel like i’ve almost made a new beginning. all i need now is maths homework…
it doesn’t feel any different, though. i’m still unmotivated and slightly lethargic. the massive step of maturity my mother hoped for didn’t happen, but then again she’s always expected too much. speaking of my mother, i was actually surprised by the amount of parents / siblings / boyfriends at our graduation today. our quadriangle was literally at maximum capacity, and there were even people standing on the pathway outside the hall. the camera flashes and filming disturbed me more. maybe it’s my aversion from family life, but i never once considered that so many people would want their families there.
personally, i didn’t even show my parents the sheet of paper that invited them to my graduation ceremony. i don’t mind that this meant there were no photos of me on the stage, shaking hands and accepting the folder and the mug which i have already chipped. i didn’t mind that my graduation didn’t get filmed and it will have to live as an inaccurate memory for the rest of my life. i didn’t want my happy event marred by my mother asking me why i didn’t get an award or why i couldn’t play the piano like kathy.
i don’t have family issues. it’s just forward thinking, that’s all.