everything here is a lie; the cloudy blue sky and the long bendy grass. i’m always searching for the truth, but i can never seem to find it. i’m always left waiting.
the people around me tell me that i have something to work for, something to seek. but i’ve long moved past thinking such things. they fall under these pretences, playing the roles life gave them to play. they play them so well, they have almost become them…
but no matter how much the actor understands and identifies with their character, they cannot become it. i play the role of a daughter, a student, a friend, because life has told me to. but how can i be everything, yet nothing? because i am nothing. it’s all nothing.
you don’t believe me. you tell me that life is precious, that i only have one chance. you think i’m taking it all foregranted. but i’m not. i’m the only one that’s not taking it for face value. i see underneath it all. i see past what you see; your wants, your needs, your dreams. i see past the yearnings and the hope of humankind. i see past that trivial emotion they call love.
and i see nothing, but your instincts for survival. i see what you could all become, if you were pushed that far. torturous, barbaric. inhumane. but only because they have labelled it so.
and i look into the mirror. and i see nothing.