disappearance .

soundtrack: the trucks on the highway // thoughts: groggy and annoyed

it’s been a while since i’ve been online at 5am. i still remember the last time clearly, but i can’t remember when. once again i belong to the group of sad people who are either gaming or have nothing better to do at this time of the day. i’ve discovered that i like sleeping better. but now i’m awake.

its quiet, but i don’t think i know the meaning of quiet because even when there’s nothing around i can still hear the cars.

i can still hear my typing and i can still hear the buzzing of my laptop. it’s like how we don’t know the meaning of dark, because of all the artificial lighting we’ve installed everywhere. just once, i’d like to know what it’s like to have one of your senses irreparable; the flick of a light switch defeats that struggle, but i’m sure the world would feel different.

everything is different because of all our developments, well obviously, because they’re all here to help us, but there are probably feelings we’ll never have anymore. not that i repent the loss of uncooked meat and smallpox; i’ll readily admit we’ve come a long way. but when you think back to it all, what was the point? a brief moment of glory for the inventor and then an eternity of people taking it foregranted. it’s like forward march, but every step gets easier, and the steps we’ve taken have been forgotten by the masses. only a select few remember. others begin mutating to suit the new things we’ve created, adjusting their lifestyle to include a motor vehicle and widening their efforts of consumption.

and the weirdest thing is this; i don’t really care. i’ve just adapted to everyone else caring.

but my fingers are freezing off and it has taken me longer to type this than i anticipated. i think i need breakfast.

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