life . and other pointless things
soundtrack: the bucketing rain // thoughts: of an alternate reality
after this wonderful break that some called exams, i find myself once again preparing for a 6:30AM start and hour long journey to school.
i feel like i have earned the right to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the term, if not the year, and i am completely discontented with the fact that i may have to do homework sometime in the near future. it’s not laziness, i assure you. it’s complacency. one hundred percent…
my six day weekend seems to have gone by so fast, and when i think back upon it, i realise why. i spent most of my days playing the sims 2 nightlife which i found at the bottom of my wardrobe as i was emptying it out. there, i created perfect neighbourhoods, beautiful people and unbreakable relationships. the escape to an alternate reality has never been so comforting. the control over mindless pixellated replicas of humans soothes the mind to an unimaginable state. when i’m making them do things, i am content.
this control has worried me over the past few hours. i wonder if i thrive on controlling this animated world because i can’t control my own. creating a fantasy fixes it all, really, if only for a few hours. i found myself making characters i loved from novels and webcomics; an ideal in a not so idea world. but in this idea world everyone had a goal, whether it was to get in someone’s pants or make a hellovalotta money.
in my world there is no such thing.
so maybe there’s nothing wrong with an escape. maybe creating a dream or an alternate reality is good, even if it only lasts for a little while.
and maybe being plummetted back into the real world where class goes until 5pm on wednesday isn’t that great after all.