shh . . .
soundtrack: the midnight silence // thoughts: are asleep
silence is a curious thing. to me, it doesn’t really exist. when everything is still and you’re laying down in the dark you will hear the clock ticking, or the rustling of branches. these, I once heard, are called white sounds. when your senses are attracted to other things, white sounds are completely ignored. but when there is nothing, you begin to appreciate the enormity of these sounds. it’s scary in a way, but comforting to find that there will never be silence as long as you’re not stuck in a vacuum in some science lab…
i just turned my music off. it’s usually on all the time, playing a randomly shuffled soundtrack to the story of my life. now I’m listening to the cars pass on the highway and i can even hear a plane pass by once in a while, and though my parents used to say they cannot sleep with all this noise, i find that we have gotten used to it and probably cannot sleep without it.
the darkness accentuates everything too. when I look around my room there’s a trail of light in my eyes which follow from the laptop screen that stands, shining at me unrelentingly. everything i touch has an effect on it; every finger i move causes the screen to change. but it will change calmly, with an air of stillness after it has moved, sitting there blinking at me continuously. i remember that typing takes up practically nothing of the CPU and it only takes a split second for what is being typed to register, and it makes me marvel at both the quickness of my fingers and the thoughtlessness which remains.
because it only takes a second to think, a second to decide, and a second to express.
but what if you can’t do any of them, no matter how many seconds you have?