relinquished .

it is so very difficult to move when one has so many possessions. too many clothes, too many hair accessories, too much trash, not enough shoes. when they’re being packed into a box, piece by piece, awaiting the arrival into my next life, i must consider if i want to bring them at all.

consequently, i find myself leaving a lot behind, sometimes to others and sometimes to landfill. when i evacuated my parents’ residence, i gave up my collection of hats and a great number of soft toys. i also overlooked the importance of some of the items i gave up, such as my (very expensive) suitcase and my sleeping bag. but time, rather than need and want, i think, will heal these voids.

irrational .

it’s almost a cliche; the fight between two people where one person says something rash that they didn’t mean. it happens to everyone, in real life and in hollywood world. and in both worlds the solution to the problem is when that person apologizes and they kiss and make up.

contrary to both the real and the imaginary people in these situations, i find that i never regret the things i say when i am angry. to be honest, even in retrospect, all the things i have accidentally screamed out when i was borderline murderous were completely true and never something i would take back just because i wanted us to be one happy family all over again.

which leads me to believe that the whole perception of the situation is false.

objects .

how do you know when something is worth keeping? when do you get to the point where you realise that it’s gone too far, you can’t handle it, and you’ve got to let it go?

i’m not just talking about people, friends or relationships. i’m talking about everything. possessions, ideals, memories, beliefs. life.

some things are easy to hold on to even when the world is against you. some things not so much.

i’ve held on to a lot over the years. i’m a massive hoarder, to be honest, and keep everything that i deem useful, could be useful, or slightly sentimental. when i moved i threw most of it away, but i’ve found that i brought quite a few useless bits of memorabilia into my new life.

the ascertained .

yesterday i heard a piece of truth that, although obvious, i had never realised before. it was the kind of surprising-but-true-kind-of-funny joke. it went like this;

“in this life, you pay things off. you can pay off your car, you can pay off your education fees, you can pay off your house. but the one thing you can never pay off is your phone bill.”

i laughed. a oh-shit-i-never-realised-that kind of laugh.

if only i had known that for my vodafone interview. the human resources guy would have hired me on the spot.

out of the blue .

have you ever come across anything that made so much sense, but you still found it hard to believe? i mean sure, there are heaps of flaws in the logic that you could argue against, but in the end it makes more sense their way than it does yours. are you just being stubborn? or is it because your way of thinking is stuck way too far in your head?

out of the blue today i was inspired by someone completely random and unexpected. he wasn’t someone i’d expect to be inspired by, or someone i consider anything out of the ordinary really.

gifted .

random question; are people born with creativity? are people that are great at any form of art, such as painting or music or drama, born with their talents? or do they practice until they can almost perfect it?

i’ve always believed that they were. although it sometimes seemed like an excuse for not having any special interest in art or music, and quitting piano and drawing classes, it wasn’t. i honestly believe that one must be born with some kind of gift to excel at these arts. my mother always told me that it was all about hard work. but i see her as a bullshit artist that somehow believes in what she says.

ignorance .

today, i watched a 10 year old boy dance with some strips of plastic hanging from the top of a door. i saw his excitement when entering a massive freezer, and his defiance when he changed the sign on the door from “open” to closed, and his annoyance when i told him to get out of the restaurant kitchen. it all amused him so much.

i was like that once. we were all like that, once upon a time.

we watched movies with happy endings and believed our lives would be like them and their happily ever afters. we watched movies with sad endings and became confused at why people loved them so much but cried. and we watched comedies, staring at the adults intently, and forcing ourselves to laugh when they did so they’d think we understood the joke too.

the unhappy camper .

OHMYGOD i can blog!!

it’s extremely dodgy and most of my page isn’t even loading, but the important thing is that the box i write in is still here, and god am i thrilled. man have i missed rambling about my pathetic thoughts on my own little web space.

i’ve got to hand it to the asians though; they sure know how to invent things.

but now, on to blogging.

so i’m sick. not like i’ve sneezed a couple of times and need some rest kind of sick. more like the take me to the hospital so i can get a drip stuck in my hand kind of sick. i didn’t, so don’t get worried just yet, but i might as well have.