paradise .

been spending my life rather recklessly over the past few days. due to this, i have no interesting or controversial thoughts of my own to share, so i’ll just tell you about some of the films i’ve seen recently.

the surrogates, with a hairy bruce willis polished an interesting idea within my mind. i wish, so much, that this film was released last year, because it would have been the perfect match to brave new world; failure would have been close to impossible.

although the idea of a safe life lived by a beautiful version of oneself is tempting, i never found myself going along with it, even for a second.

individual… really ?

if you put twenty people in the same room sat them in a circle, and then gave them all a pen, a piece of paper and an apple to describe, something miraculous will happen. these twenty people will all find their own separate ways, with completely different wording and phrases, to say things about the apple.

even if you gave them the same apple and rotated it so that they could see the dents on the other side, the sentences they construct would still be worded differently.

isn’t it amazing that every human brain is so unique? i mean, how many ways can you describe a fucking apple? if you asked me to re-word my answer twenty times i’d need to use the thesaurus.

politics .

i am the girl who will tell you if you look fat in your favourite five hundred dollar dress. it’s effortless to me; i won’t try to scoot around it and hint it to you, i’ll just say it. you. look. fat. and everyone that sees you in that dress will know, so take it off and sell it on ebay for half price.

and don’t take photos of yourself modelling it for the photos.

i call myself honest but you probably have another word for it.

the only problem is that when you’re as honest as someone like me, people begin thinking that you’re just saying things to be mean. and fair enough, maybe sometimes i do.

the alien ate it .

amidst all the cynicism and satire within the many intelligent people of this world, i’ve found something darker. condescension.

it’s one of those things that are obvious at one point, but barely noticeable from another angle. you look at them and you think you have it all wrong. they look at you and think you’re a cockroach. it’s kind of something the elite would see, but even the elite today are rather grubby. to get up there you have to work smart, and to work smart you have to already be smart.

personally, i know that many of my high school friends and acquaintences are already like this. they are a part of the intelligent bunch and expect to end up higher than everyone else just because.

conformity .

today i saw two men kissing on a  park bench. it wasn’t even just normal kissing: it was full frontal sit-on-lap, hands-up-shirt, tongue and hands everywhere pashing. they were both rather fat and very bald. now before you ask, i was not disgusted at the sight of them and i did not think privately in my head to tell them to get a room. i was just a little surprised.

originally i thought my brain had processed it wrong; maybe the bold one on top was actually a woman. but as i got closer it eventually became obvious that it was not. it was kind of awkward, even though they didn’t realise anyone was looking. it wasn’t that pleasant anyway, but i honestly didn’t shudder in horror.

heartbreakingly beautiful .

soundtrack: a lot of buzzing // thoughts: of a thousand splendid suns

so i finished a thousand splendid suns. let me first say that it was devistating, and it really broke my heart. it was so sad i didn’t really know what to do. i think i cried more during that book than i have in most of my life.

a thousand spendid suns is about women in afghanistan, which probably won’t interest many of you that much. in fact, i find it hard to believe that i was extremely interested in the subject. however, i soon found myself being sucked in to the emotional rollercoaster hosseini creates, and consequently i became extremely socially aware (kind of) and developed a tiny understanding of life in afghanistan (because only those that lived through it would truly understand)

exasperated .

soundtrack: nothing in particular // thoughts: about stupid old people

today i went to the post office, and i don’t know my way around that area and when i had to catch the bus i didn’t know which side of the street to catch it from. so i asked this woman that was waiting for the bus if the side of the street was the city direction, and she says yes. so i wait for the bus. and then i think about it, and look up the street, and a strand of doubt pulled at my mind. it didn’t seem right. i drew a map in my mind, and tried to figure out where each direction led to. and i kept thinking it was the other side. so i stood at the edge of the road and watched the other side, just in case the woman was wrong. i even edged to the bus stop on the other side of the street, which was a couple of metres away horizontally too.

now that . . .

soundtrack: ashe watson; u know my name // thoughts: now…

yeah i’m finished. but you know what, it doesn’t feel any different. apart from the fact that i don’t have to study, which i didn’t do that much of, the only difference is that… you know what, there isn’t any. i don’t feel any different at all. maybe it will kick in in a few days.

oh i got a facebook! been wanting to get one for a while since everyone talks about the photos. let’s hope i won’t get addicted, since it’s so addictive apparently. i like my blog more anyways. originally i only joined to see photos, but let’s see where things lead to.