anxiety .

soundtrack: the tv in the background // thoughts: of tomorrow

i am beginning to become anxious.

unlike everyone else i know, i wasn’t anxious last night. this was because i knew i wasn’t going to check my bands and scaled marks on BOS. everyone else has been talking about it. i honestly have no fucking clue how i did. i didn’t check because i didn’t want to have expectations. whether my bands were high or low, i would have had an expectation for my UAI, and i would have thought about it, went to the UAI calculator, mulled over it and fretted. i wasn’t about to bring that upon myself.

but now, i’m anxious, just like everyone else.

with all formalities at an end . . .

 soundtrack: one chance; all in // thoughts: of some aspects of life

my formal photos are up. surprisingly, i took more photos (both of myself and other people) at tech formal. maybe because my dress was prettier at tech formal, and also $1.10 more expensive.

so basically, that was the end of my high school life. never again will i be with all those people, and our time will be just a figment of our memory. however, unlike most, i was not overly sentimental about it. i did not go around professing love for those i obviously did not love, nor did i tell people i’d miss them as i knew i would not. basically i’m just a very honest person. i never understood the need to tell everyone you’d miss them, actually. i wonder if the girls that said it knew it was a blatant lie.

one day .

soundtrack: rihanna; cry // thoughts: about one day

i turned 18 and graduated today. it’s also the first time i’ve blogged three days in a row. how momentous.

i spent my birthday graduating, avoiding photographs, walking around wbj with lucy and cleaning my room. don’t feel sorry for me; i wanted to do every single one of these things more than anything else i could have been doing, except maybe going to star city and getting my $20 of free pokies money. my now clean room (although i haven’t vacuumed yet) is extremely comforting, and i feel like i’ve almost made a new beginning. all i need now is maths homework…

just one left .

soundtrack: vitamin c; graduation // thoughts: about the future

photos of muck up / mock assembly / year 12 farewell are here. it was a rather emotional day, really. for me, the speeches, more than anything set the mood off, but there were a lot of people that were crying before the assembly (and even last week). a whole bunch of common and personal memories were brought up in the speeches of many people, some good, others not so good. luckily (sort of) for me, i got mentioned three times, which is quite a lot as it is difficult to mention everyone, meaning that as a memory i will live in many other’s hearts…

trivial .

 soundtrack: taj monroe; outrun the rain // thoughts: never seem to change

so tired. kinda angry, but mostly too tired to be angry. too tired to be anything.

trivia night was good, even though the questions were extremely racist. all the freaking white people questions; obviously the white chicks won. but whatever, i had a good time. photos are here. there was a lot of cheating, a lot of interneting and a lot of pizza. also probably a lot of frustration on the prefects’ parts. i would have been so pissed if i was any of them. i scoff at their responsibility. and admire their capacity for it…

neverland .

 soundtrack: matt palmer; that way // thoughts: “so give me a sign…”

i watched finding neverland today and cried my fucking eyes out. i don’t think there was anything extremely sad about the movie, but the whole idea of it, the characters, the situation and the movie in general just depressed me for some reason. i still haven’t really recovered. awesome movie though. but then, i usually like sad and profound movies better than the stupid happy ones. good romantic comedies are an exception…

inspired .

soundtrack: my new rnb // thoughts: of a fantasy world

inspired was fucking awesome. apart from the obvious highlight of the night (shoutout to all my textiles buddies, you were all awesomely hot) the drama performances and dance were pretty awesome too! i’m so glad this was our last year. it was definitely a night to remember.

despite a few technological hiccups, which everyone quickly blamed the blackout for, the show eventually got running. we were all a little shocked at the winners of the challenge, but as it was before the major works, the anticipation overrode all feelings of dissatisfaction, and we all looked on with excitement. everyone was beautiful…

space oddessy .

 soundtrack: easier said than done; danny fernandez // thoughts: like an obsession

i think if the environment we live in is meant to symbolise our life, mine would be down in the dumps somewhere. seriously, my room is a freaking mess. you can’t walk from one side to the other without stepping on something apart from the floor, and there is no space to sit or work on (even though i have a chair, a couch and two tables). there are plastic water bottles everywhere because i aimed to recycle them but never took them out, and on top of all that are all the bundles of paper and work that i’m supposed to do…