sway .

i have eight mosquito bites on my legs and a further four down my arms and i don’t know why i keep forgetting that sitting outside late at night is a bad idea. i’m terrible with not scratching mosquito bites, so i expect that i’ll have a number of painful scabs very soon.

in addition to my lack of common sense about the whole mosquito situation, i have found that i am a very talkative drunk and struggle not to divulge information about my entire existence while i’m in a tipsy but able to talk situation. i hope i don’t embarrass myself too much in the parties to come; one in particular.

pick, pick .

i’m not a compassionate, loving person. i don’t pretend to be. i don’t like a lot of things. i don’t like a lot of people. i’ve never, throughout my life, seen the best in people. in fact, a lot of the time i sift out bad parts of people who are probably very good. it’s not that i’m a mean spirited person; i was just born to be a critic.

flaws. they’re everywhere. i just can’t ignore them. in myself they’re ever noticable and prevalent. i know they’re there, i try to fix them, if i can’t then too bad. but in other people, errors jump out at me and cannot be overlooked until redeemed. a language fault, a malapropism, a slip in grammar, an error in judgement or just something stupid overall. big red sign glaring overhead.

individual… really ?

if you put twenty people in the same room sat them in a circle, and then gave them all a pen, a piece of paper and an apple to describe, something miraculous will happen. these twenty people will all find their own separate ways, with completely different wording and phrases, to say things about the apple.

even if you gave them the same apple and rotated it so that they could see the dents on the other side, the sentences they construct would still be worded differently.

isn’t it amazing that every human brain is so unique? i mean, how many ways can you describe a fucking apple? if you asked me to re-word my answer twenty times i’d need to use the thesaurus.

the glasshouse .

i’ve never really lived by that old idiom “people in glass houses shouldn’t throw rocks.” at least i think that’s how it goes.

i sit in my immacuately polished transparent glass house catapulting rocks at everyone that walks past, sometimes hitting, sometimes missing. and even though most of the people that walk past can see me, they don’t throw anything back. they just return to their own glass houses waiting for me to walk past them.

it’s not just an issue of hypocrisy. it’s also one of judgement, and more importantly, how people don’t like being judged, but find it perfectly fine when doing the judging.

gifted .

random question; are people born with creativity? are people that are great at any form of art, such as painting or music or drama, born with their talents? or do they practice until they can almost perfect it?

i’ve always believed that they were. although it sometimes seemed like an excuse for not having any special interest in art or music, and quitting piano and drawing classes, it wasn’t. i honestly believe that one must be born with some kind of gift to excel at these arts. my mother always told me that it was all about hard work. but i see her as a bullshit artist that somehow believes in what she says.

the departed .

i don’t have internet (once again) so i’m blogging in one of my lectures. hooray for free wireless internet at uni! it’s probably a bit weird for the people sitting behind me reading this, or even the people sitting next to me, but i don’t care.

i’m going to try to get my net back as soon as possible, but at the moment it doesn’t seem very likely because i’m a poor student that isn’t able to afford anything apart from rent and food. that’s right, i said rent. because i’ve finally achieved my freedom, and am now paying a hundred and fourty dollars a week for it. applause please.

flawed .

 soundtrack: tummy grumbling // thoughts: about me

i’ve realised a massive flaw in my mostly confident personality. i can’t look at people when i speak, or when they speak, for that matter. i always glance away, usually to the left, or down, unable to fix my eyes on them and unable to match their stare. staring competitions are fine, but talking is not. i wonder if i seem insincere?

i’ve always known that i shift my eyes a lot, but this became a problem today at my interview. i knew that i was looking away way too much, and i tried extremely hard to focus on the interviewer, but i just couldn’t. not that she was ugly or anything, actually she was rather attractive. she was always looking at me while i was speaking, and i couldn’t help but look away.

simplicity .

soundtrack: dontae; cling // thoughts: of another world

watched wall-e today. it was the most fantastic movie ever, really. even though the underlying messages were extremely obvious (or maybe they were purposefully that way), the effect the movie had on me (and i would think others) was extremely profound. the way the film captured my attention was amazing, especially due to the minimal dialogue. it was adorable, funny and deep at the same time; definitely going in one of my all time favourite movies. EVERYONE, and i mean everyone, needs to watch that movie…