the forked road .

upon observing a rather attractive female cleaner in the toilets of world square shopping centre today, a very curious question became embedded in my mind.

i would think that even without fantastic english skills, a nice face, long curly hair and a decent rack can probably get a poor girl around five hundred per night, no toilet cleaning or sex involved.

which leads me to my question; would you rather be a stripper or a toilet cleaner?

now consider this hypothetical situation; you have no wealthy background, immigrated rather recently, probably need to pay bills or even school fees to gain an education, and have no real skills or ways of getting hired.

exasperation .

i am currently debating with myself about whether i should go thrifting. this idea has been greatly influenced by aforementioned lookbook, and also the fact that i am poor (truth) and need more clothes (speculative).

although i have attempted to enter charity stores in the past, i generally walk out within a few minutes. it’s probably all about the mindset, and i figured that if i could break free of the other typical ideals from my background, why can’t i let go of this one?

it all comes down to the power of the brain. or the lack of…

heroin .

something i’ve always known about myself is that i like sad things. not in the way that i’m sadistic and enjoy inflicting pain upon others. rather in the way that i have a strange attraction towards novels, sad films, sad poetry and other sad immaterial things.

at many times of my life i have found myself reading a sad novel, crying my eyes out and then hugging it to sleep. devastated by its completion, i will then turn around and read it again, a million times over.

and i fall in love with its pain all over again. i fall in love with the characters as i live vicariously through them and hurt as they do, enjoying every moment. that is the kind of crazy person i am.

paradise .

been spending my life rather recklessly over the past few days. due to this, i have no interesting or controversial thoughts of my own to share, so i’ll just tell you about some of the films i’ve seen recently.

the surrogates, with a hairy bruce willis polished an interesting idea within my mind. i wish, so much, that this film was released last year, because it would have been the perfect match to brave new world; failure would have been close to impossible.

although the idea of a safe life lived by a beautiful version of oneself is tempting, i never found myself going along with it, even for a second.

armageddon .

in sydney today, between 4 and 5 am, the sky was red. not the soft, pale orangy-red of dawn, and not the crimson red of blood. just the kind of red that made the sky look like a five year old child had shaded it with coloured pencil.

as you can imagine, people freaked.

although the redness eventually faded to an ugly orangy-yellow as the sun rose, there were ongoing whispers about how the world was about to end. i imagine if we lived in a world without technology, the christians would have stood up on their soap boxes and told us it was our fault because we have sinned, and even jesus could’t help us now.

individual… really ?

if you put twenty people in the same room sat them in a circle, and then gave them all a pen, a piece of paper and an apple to describe, something miraculous will happen. these twenty people will all find their own separate ways, with completely different wording and phrases, to say things about the apple.

even if you gave them the same apple and rotated it so that they could see the dents on the other side, the sentences they construct would still be worded differently.

isn’t it amazing that every human brain is so unique? i mean, how many ways can you describe a fucking apple? if you asked me to re-word my answer twenty times i’d need to use the thesaurus.

the alien ate it .

amidst all the cynicism and satire within the many intelligent people of this world, i’ve found something darker. condescension.

it’s one of those things that are obvious at one point, but barely noticeable from another angle. you look at them and you think you have it all wrong. they look at you and think you’re a cockroach. it’s kind of something the elite would see, but even the elite today are rather grubby. to get up there you have to work smart, and to work smart you have to already be smart.

personally, i know that many of my high school friends and acquaintences are already like this. they are a part of the intelligent bunch and expect to end up higher than everyone else just because.

at the centre of the universe .

we’ve had a lot of complaints at vodafone lately. most of the time you’d understand the customer’s viewpoint, and feel sorry that you’re unable to help them, like when their phone breaks one day after the replacement warranty finishes or when vodafone stuffs up and only customer care can fix it for them.

other times you hope that you’re unable to help the person because of the amount of dick in their character.

working in retail really shows you how many people think the world is all about them. there are people that parade in thinking they’re the centre of the universe.