spades and hearts .

throughout our lives, we humans have fought one true battle, one huge battle. the battle that has been written about more than any other battle in history. and no, it is not the war in iraq. it is the battle between the mind and the heart.

why do we all fight this battle? do our hearts really tell us things that the mind disagrees with? and why, then, must our wants from the mind and the heart be different, if we are the same person seeking the same ideals?

i confess that i will usually go with my mind, rather than my heart. i’m a thinker, and i think things through before i go through with them. but there are many people that ignore their mind, their consciousness and the ideals the world has created. they follow their hearts.

twelve .

soundtrack: digestion of grain waves // thoughts: in historical context

i’ve been trying to study for modern, and i’ve realised something. the whole germany/nazi thing doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. while i’m reading the horrendous atrocities they committed, i don’t think “oh gosh, how terrible for the jewish people,” i think “man, gotta remember this.” it’s just a story to me. in fact, it’s probably just a story to everyone now. no one really gives it a second thought. i mean, it’s history. it’s shocking stuff, but it’s over.

it’s almost as if it’s just another english novel; you read it, you understand it, you write it down in your exam paper.

silly me .

soundtrack: life; loyd // thoughts: a myriad of complications

many strange ideas occurred to me today. we’re probably very familiar with the idea of truth, justice, law and stuff due to overexposure through the media, but because we’re in year 12 everyone is starting to ask us to reconsider. add all the controversy that’s been happening and you have yourself a brainful of stuff to contemplate.

first things first. today i learnt that when the british convicts got to australia the men came off the boats and built stuff while the women stayed on, even after months of confined sea travel. you might think i’m going to start talking about womens liberation and rights, but that’s not it. what was amazing is that when the women came off the boats there was lots of rape and a massive orgy. how come i wasn’t taught that until now? and how many people knew that?…

insatiable

soundtrack: paper ruffling and furious writing // thoughts: about food

i am at state, attempting to write the first draft of my major work. i am also extremely hungry, but i know if i leave to buy food i will never return. it’s amazing how well i know myself, really.

i feel good about sitting here though, even though i’m typing a blog on my laptop. i know i’ve made an effort. which is more than i can say for other people. actually, i lie. a few good days out of a million bad ones is worth it, is it not? it’s just a shame that i’m having a good day by myself with my only human contact being over msn. but hey, at least nothing shitty is happening…