the ascertained .

yesterday i heard a piece of truth that, although obvious, i had never realised before. it was the kind of surprising-but-true-kind-of-funny joke. it went like this;

“in this life, you pay things off. you can pay off your car, you can pay off your education fees, you can pay off your house. but the one thing you can never pay off is your phone bill.”

i laughed. a oh-shit-i-never-realised-that kind of laugh.

if only i had known that for my vodafone interview. the human resources guy would have hired me on the spot.

secrets .

on the bus to uni today there was this guy sitting facing me. i usually look out the window, but once in a while it is unavoidable to look straight ahead, and hence at that guy. he wasn’t good looking or anything, so i wasn’t secretly checking him out or trying to initate eye sex. this guy kept smiling to himself due to whatever he was thinking about. i guess he was replaying some wonderful memory in his head or something, because he just wouldn’t stop smiling to himself. he wasn’t texting, watching anything, or listening to music. just smiling.

i do that a lot; randomly smile to myself in public because i thought of something funny, and then stop just in case someone saw me.

ponder .

something (and i forget what) has caused me to wonder whether we prolong our lifespans due to the fear of death rather than to keep living.

honestly speaking, i cannot see the benefits life offers someone when they are past  the age of 60. in fact, i cannot see the benefits life offers someone once they pass the age of 40. not enough to want to keep living, anyway. when you’re 40 you have responsibilities.

bills.

mortgages.

children.

ignorance .

today, i watched a 10 year old boy dance with some strips of plastic hanging from the top of a door. i saw his excitement when entering a massive freezer, and his defiance when he changed the sign on the door from “open” to closed, and his annoyance when i told him to get out of the restaurant kitchen. it all amused him so much.

i was like that once. we were all like that, once upon a time.

we watched movies with happy endings and believed our lives would be like them and their happily ever afters. we watched movies with sad endings and became confused at why people loved them so much but cried. and we watched comedies, staring at the adults intently, and forcing ourselves to laugh when they did so they’d think we understood the joke too.

emotionless .

soundtrack: love split love; how soon is now // thoughts: now?

new header. suits me, don’t you think?

actually, i think my wordpress is a lot less emo than any other blog i’ve kept. i’ve deleted my past msn spaces, blogs and bebo, so i can’t confirm it, but it’s definitely less sad and grey and depressing than the msn space i have now (which i only use for photos). i was never really an emo; there’s just nothing to write about when one is happy.

i tried to write a happy poem once. i think i still owe jerry one…

fruitless .

wishing for

# some kind of hope

# some kind of light

# something that will make me feel alright

# someone with hope