mind games .

i just finished downloading brain age onto my nintendo ds (lite), and i’ve been playing it for the past hour or so.

the first time i played my brain age was said to be eighty. now considering that the idea brain age is twenty, you’d understand that i have a long way to go.

for some reason, the second time i played, i suddenly became twenty two. i bet all the eighty year olds in the world wish they could become twenty two just by playing a game.

i remember in year twelve when i used to have brain juice on my sony ericsson phone, and i would play the games during maths, beating and re-beating all the high scores.

hair .

last year, during an english class, my extremely wise teacher, mr morris, told us that there comes a certain time in a woman’s life where she cuts her hair. now because my teacher is a funny guy and likes to over analyse things, i let it go and thought about other things instead.

but i thought about it again the other day.

first, i thought about my own mother. i can’t pinpoint the exact year that she chose to cut off her long and rather pretty hair, but it must have been sometime in her early thirties. there’s a video of us when she was about thirty three, and she had really long curly hair and bright red lipstick, and i must admit she was quite a picture.

facades .

i’ve just reached a big milestone in my life; i’ve completed the first test that counts towards a university mark. i practically failed it, and it was worth all of one percent. but still. hooray for me.

university has had quite a large impact on me, i think. apart from my time management problems and all the work that comes with it, it has also affected my personal life. i am no longer able to wake up, brush my teeth, pull some clothes on and rush out of the house like i have for the past eighteen years of my life; these days i must wake up at least an hour before class so i can brush my teeth, eat breakfast, choose what to wear and if i can be bothered, i will do something to my hair.

ponder .

something (and i forget what) has caused me to wonder whether we prolong our lifespans due to the fear of death rather than to keep living.

honestly speaking, i cannot see the benefits life offers someone when they are past  the age of 60. in fact, i cannot see the benefits life offers someone once they pass the age of 40. not enough to want to keep living, anyway. when you’re 40 you have responsibilities.

bills.

mortgages.

children.

ignorance .

today, i watched a 10 year old boy dance with some strips of plastic hanging from the top of a door. i saw his excitement when entering a massive freezer, and his defiance when he changed the sign on the door from “open” to closed, and his annoyance when i told him to get out of the restaurant kitchen. it all amused him so much.

i was like that once. we were all like that, once upon a time.

we watched movies with happy endings and believed our lives would be like them and their happily ever afters. we watched movies with sad endings and became confused at why people loved them so much but cried. and we watched comedies, staring at the adults intently, and forcing ourselves to laugh when they did so they’d think we understood the joke too.

exasperated .

soundtrack: nothing in particular // thoughts: about stupid old people

today i went to the post office, and i don’t know my way around that area and when i had to catch the bus i didn’t know which side of the street to catch it from. so i asked this woman that was waiting for the bus if the side of the street was the city direction, and she says yes. so i wait for the bus. and then i think about it, and look up the street, and a strand of doubt pulled at my mind. it didn’t seem right. i drew a map in my mind, and tried to figure out where each direction led to. and i kept thinking it was the other side. so i stood at the edge of the road and watched the other side, just in case the woman was wrong. i even edged to the bus stop on the other side of the street, which was a couple of metres away horizontally too.

it`s all natural .

soundtrack: lizi eating fruit salad // thoughts: about organic stuff

my parents bought me this pack of biscuits because they think too many tim tams aren’t good for me. the packaging says “d’lush; the most luscious gluten free peppermint biscuit made with natural peppermint oil.” well no shit, and i bet it’s the only gluten free peppermint biscuit made with natural peppermint oil. i haven’t eaten it yet, out of spite because i am siding with my tim tams. arnotts has my support, now and forevermore. i mean, who eats organic foods anyway? hippies and old people who want to live longer, that’s who.

one day .

soundtrack: rihanna; cry // thoughts: about one day

i turned 18 and graduated today. it’s also the first time i’ve blogged three days in a row. how momentous.

i spent my birthday graduating, avoiding photographs, walking around wbj with lucy and cleaning my room. don’t feel sorry for me; i wanted to do every single one of these things more than anything else i could have been doing, except maybe going to star city and getting my $20 of free pokies money. my now clean room (although i haven’t vacuumed yet) is extremely comforting, and i feel like i’ve almost made a new beginning. all i need now is maths homework…